Notes from 57th International STC Conference
Dallas, Texas, May 2-5, 2010

Attitude – the Choice is Yours!

Suzanna Laurent

A former STC president, Suzanna delivered a thought-provoking presentation well rooted in basic psychology and well seasoned with an abundance of life experience.

Session Description: Attitudes are everywhere in life. You are never without them. Your attitude creates your actions, which produce results. This session showed how to gain control of your attitudes to gain control of your life. Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference personally and professionally.

• Roadmap:
   
• Understanding your attitude
• Analyzing your attitude
• Adjusting your attitude
• Maintaining a positive attitude
• Dealing with the difficult attitudes of others
• Understanding your attitude
   
• A good attitude leads to success
• You control your attitude
• What is attitude?
• How are attitudes communicated?
• Where do attitudes come from?
• No one can MAKE you have a bad attitude without your permission. You CAN control your attitude!
• Elements of attitude: energy, expectations, thoughts, perceptions, actions.
• Influences on attitude: parents, family, friends, teachers, colleagues
• Three types of people = three types of attitudes:
   
• Spectators
• Critics
• Players
• Attitudes can be situation-specific.
• Be aware of your non-verbals; they are the primary conveyors of attitude in a face-to-face communication situation
• Analyzing your attitude
   
• Your attitude about yourself
• Your self-image inventory
• Your attitude about others
• Adjusting your attitude: 5 techniques
   
• Listen to your self-talk: replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Estimates indicate that we spend 50 seconds out of every minute focused on self-talk rather than others.
• Pursue happiness
   
• Know what you want
• Don’t wait for happiness
• Tell yourself, “This too shall pass”
• Others have it much worse
• Deal with depression... if it’s mild, you might be able to deal with it by altering your self-talk; if it’s severe, it’s a medical condition and you should seek professional help
• Seek comfort with change
   
• Face up to fear
• Expect mistakes
• Value relationships
   
• Respect other people
• Forgive and forget
• Communicate expectations
• Give and accept responsibility
• Stop “should”-ing all over yourself; that kind of self-talk can be paralyzing. Move “should-do’s” over to a “to-do’s” list.
• Maintaining a positive attitude
   
• Strategy #1: start fresh every day; give yourself a pep talk. Use affirmations in self-talk, aloud, and via reminders on your computer, your desk, the wall.
• Strategy #2: Clarify and prioritize your life
   
• Clarify your purpose
• Visualize your future
• Set goals for yourself
• Prioritize your actions
• Strategy #3: Enjoy the moment
   
• Appreciate life
• Search for the golden nugget
• Reward yourself
• Strategy #4: Express, don’t suppress, your feelings
   
• Smile
• Laugh
• Cry
• Strategy #5: Surround yourself with positive influences, using the 5 senses. Your senses take in the environment, which, in turn, affects your attitude.
   
• Post affirmations and positive things (visual)
• Try music (auditory)
• Scented candle (olfactory)
• Hugs, contact (tactile)
• Food you like (gustatory)
• How to deal with a person with a bad attitude: background
   
• Distance yourself (if feasible)
• Try to understand where they’re coming from
   
• If there’s a specific cause, try to address it... or at least understand it. This is particularly important if the attitude change is sudden.
• The understanding will help you accept them.
• Changing the behavior without changing the underlying attitude (which can be done with supervisory authority) is just a band-aid; the attitude will resurface.
• Be prepared for your communication with a person with a bad attitude; do so privately, not publically; keep your emotions in check; consider whether you may also benefit from an adjustment
• Dealing with difficult attitudes: summary of strategies
   
• Strategy #1: determine your involvement
   
• Is this person important?
• Has this happened before?
• Does this bother you?
• Are you willing to invest time?
• Strategy #2: Understand the other person
   
• Find out what’s eating them
• Try to change it, if that’s feasible
• If not, at least show them you’re listening
• If nothing works, simply accept them.
• In extreme cases, distance yourself
• Strategy #3: Influence the other person’s attitude
   
• Describe how you feel
• Explain consequences
• Suggest other ways
• Invite a reaction
• Gain agreement
• Strategy #4: Resolve the problem
   
• Define future expectations
• Mutually discuss solutions
• Agree on the best solution
• Strategy #5: Recover
   
• Regain your positive attitude: move on!
• Follow through with commitments
• Recognize changes in attitude